NAPOWRIMO post 1 2018

pre-1. a love letter

 

To my beloved,

you remind me of fruit,

you remind me of light,

you give me knowledge,

you take away strife,

you’re always in my hand,

you’re always on time,

but most of all,

i love you,

the security you always provide gives me piece of mind.

 

cordially,

christa xx

 

P.S. not to who you think it is.

 

1. secret shame

 

material girl

material world

give me what i want

right now

i hate the plastic

i hate the fashion

but i love them

they are not the most important thing to me

at least not anymore

they being the room full of pointless objects

that i have no need for.

i want you oh baby

but you dont want that stuff

so i dont care if you lose everything

because you’re enough

i mean i care,

i dont want you to ruin your life

i just want you to have confidence in your affairs

so take me on the streets or in the woods

no sex no toys no playthings

just there to see the hood

you will understand someday

my affection is not fleeting

i want to dance in the moonlight

with you

or go with you to a meeting

i do not focus on the things i do not have

in my dreams

except for you, darling,

i dream about you all the time.

 

2. Me/You/Ourselves

i love the rain, i dont feel tired

i’m never hungry or thirsty

and i have to force myself through discomfort.

i’m spoiled and cross

and of course you’re just the best.

you always give me what i want

even when it’s uncomfortable for you.

i dont think you judge me

and when we are talking you are always present.

you always know the right thing to say to me

and you never attack me directly.

 

 

i dont’ know what to do with myself,

she’s always on my mind,

she’s quick and clever

i didn’t know any better

when she was the one i denied.

i feel regretful for my actions

even though she forgave and forgot

right after it happened.

she never holds grudges

at least not to me

and for that i am grateful

but my success and her constant damage to me

is overwhelming and so i am neglectful.

i act like i dont care but really i do

what if she’s lying

what if she hurts me

Oh God I want to cry out to you.

why do i trust her

she gives me no reason

Just tell me so I can move on?

We are a complicated couple

We aren’t even together!

Leave me alone!

No You!

Let’s not argue

okay,

okay.

we won’t argue.

I love you,

okay.

But You’re not telling the truth!

Why should I?

Because I trust you tonight

okay

okay

Fine

Fine

I love you, Goodbye.

Okay?

Okay.

 

 

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