nocturne poem

i have a song in my mind
in my mind i have remixed it
why is this important you may ask?
because it is interrupting my thought process
here i am trying to write a nocturne and all i can think
about are the words to this song.

dove blow
coke roll
heart break
hands shake
me speak
freak speak

do you ever wonder why you are alone?
i do.
i wonder every day why i am.
is it me?
or is it them?
why does it have to be like this?

do i depress you?
do i make you feel depressed?
i’m screaming at you.
i’m screaming at everything.
i want to cut you
like a sharp knife would pour out your guttural insides.
you couldn’t speak any more
you wouldn’t laugh anymore.

you may be asking yourself

do i want to kill?
i can honestly tell you the answer is no.
but do i want to end this?
if i could have an easy way out.
not suicide
that’s not actually easy.
but just an easier way out.
something easy.
i would want to take it.

so until then, i will keep asking myself
why i’m alone?
why does it have to be like this?
do i depress you?
do i make you feel depressed?

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