elegy for my mother

You used to rock me, throw sheets in my face, the wind would make me fall asleep.

Here we are twenty-six years later and you are completely out of my life.

You are gone forever, and I let you go.

I took you for granted, and now it’s too late.

 

I hate to say it, but you are better off without me.

I ruined you. I wasted your time.

I miss you so much though. You were my saving grace, for many years the only reason I lived on. And now to make you proud that’s what I have to do. Live on without you.

 

Everyone used to tell me to be nicer to my parents,

I couldn’t understand why, how idiotic.

I had never lost anyone important to me, I couldn’t understand the importance of life.

 

How important could life possibly be, if I needed only you.

Only you,  God will anyone even believe this crap?

So sentimental for someone I was never nice to.

How depressing.
I know you loved me.

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