happy valentine’s

roses are bled

violets are true

look at me honestly and say, i don’t love you.

take me out

keep me in,

i don’t care at all

just don’t shove me under the bus next fall





i have realized that i might have truly hurt you.

that was never my intention. i’m still sorry and i hope you can get over it.

i still want to be your muse.

take everything from me, but please make it worth my effort.


i might end up in the same area as you after all.

maybe i will move up there and make a career where you are.

i’m not your stalker, not really. but if i felt welcome, maybe i would make an effort to be closer to you.

i don’t want to be obsessed and i don’t want to hurt you or annoy you.

i only want to be friends if it’s mutual.


wish me luck, z.


what if?

IF you have an open mind, read this:

everyone knows we don’t live in a perfect world. we can try our best, but it’s just not enough. that’s a cold hard fact about earth and being human. The Bible promises things to those who believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for them, and ask Him forgiveness for the sins I have just mentioned that everyone does. The Bible specifically says that those who have not recieved salvation on the day of the Lord will be sent to Hell for eternity. All you really have to do is ask God for help. Are you scared of what remains? in Heaven. So am I. I’m a sinful human that doesn’t put enough trust in a loving and perfect God. I’m weak without his help. When I talk to God and other people about God, I’m reminded of something very obvious. He created this world and two humans who had the free will to sin, and you know they did, and we all fell and it’s history. But, he created this whole wide world. We love the world… well you do, don’t you? people are just afraid of things they don’t understand, and especially change. people hate change. It requires almost zero effort to ask the Lord for forgiveness. To admit that you are wrong and you aren’t perfect and ask the one God for salvation. That word, salvation… what does it mean exactly? Religiously speaking, let’s check it out:

this is what google says:

preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss.
“they try to sell it to us as economic salvation”
synonyms: lifeline, preservation; More
deliverance from sin and its consequences, believed by Christians to be brought about by faith in Christ.
synonyms: redemption, deliverance, reclamation
“salvation by way of repentance”

Some verses about salvation:


if you take a minute you will see that all the things I’ve said have come from God. I wrote this post before I looked up those verses. Maybe that isn’t a sign for you, but it sure is for me. I believe God will use me for his purposes.

So if you want to ask Jesus into your heart right now, what do you do?

For me, I went to a church and walked down the aisle and asked a deacon to pray with me.

Maybe you don’t have that option or you feel you’re not ready to go to church yet. Luckily you can do this from anywhere.

Here is a sinner’s prayer that I have written, but you might want to make up your own.

Dear God,

I come to you as a sinner. I’m at fault.

I’m asking for forgiveness today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.

I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and he was perfect.

I believe in the Holy trinity. Please save me from hell, please guide me and show me the way to you, Lord God. Show me what to do.

Today I’m trying. Trying to be closer to you. You made me, and now you saved me.

Thank you for your gift.



So that’s just an example of a prayer, but I recommend you write your own. Sometimes people pray in different ways. For me, it’s easier when I write it down. I can write it in a journal, or on facebook, or this blog. Some people might want to kneel by their beds and say a prayer aloud. There’s no right or wrong way, the important thing is that you are reverent and sincere.

There have been times when I was rebelling against God but I needed him so I wasn’t being reverent. I had to ask forgiveness in the middle of my prayer.

God answers prayers. God is mysterious.

Your prayer may not be answered how or when you expected, but it’s not like you are sending a text that will never be answered. Patience is important, wisdom is important.



I would try going to church. Church brings you to a community of people who share similar beliefs and people that love each other. Everyone learns about God at church.

If you still can’t go to church, then I recommend this really good online series for Jews who have become Christians.


The reason this is especially a good class is because Jews often do things out of tradition and don’t really follow the Bible. When a Jew becomes a Christian, they have an even stronger relationship with God than you would realize and stronger than a lot of Christians.

This literally translates the stories and hard to understand events in the Bible piece by piece.

It’s possible that you may want to read your Bible at home in addition to these choices.

I recommend not trying to read the entire Bible all at once. That can be overwhelming.

Some of the greatest advice I ever received was from my mom. She told me to read one chapter of Proverbs every day for a month, there are 31 chapters of Proverbs so it works out nicely.

I’m not perfect. No one is. Christians make mistakes and are often held even more accountable for their actions than members of other belief systems. This is good and bad. Christians should be held accountable for their sins, but what other people don’t realize is, that everyone is held accountable for their sins. Christians basically get a free pass as long as they have accepted Christ but those who have not been saved will burn in Hell for eternity.

(4) Hell is eternal and irreversible.

Revelation 14:11 “the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever and they have no rest day and night”
Revelation 20:14 “This is the second death, the lake of fire”
Revelation 20:15 “If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire”

Give this some thought. Remember those who have not been saved do not have a direct link to God to pray to him. You have to believe that Jesus died for your sins, the Bible also says that nonbelievers will not be able to make sense of the Bible. I can attest that this is true.

Also, many people disagree about what is sinful and what is not. My personal opinion is that everything we do on earth is a sin, we were all born after the fall, and new heaven and new earth have not arrived, and will not arrive until the day of the Lord.

No one knows when the Day of the Lord will be and it will come as a thief.


That’s most of what I wanted to say. I hope if anyone has any questions that you will ask me or someone you trust to be a reliable source. for me it’s very important that if you don’t know anyone who is saved, that you seek out someone you know is saved, that’s why church is so important, everyone their is either considering being saved or is already saved! beware of what church you go to. if they have a website, read it to make sure their values are trust worthy to you and ask God to show you someone who can lead you down the straight and narrow path. many people claim to be christians but are not. if you are not saved, then you are not a christian and you WILL burn in hell if you are not saved on the day of the Lord.


If you do not have an open mind- read this:

you may be set in your ways, and do things in your own time, and feel like everything is working in your life, and you don’t need Jesus. I warn you. this may be the only warning you receive. changing your ways will not save you from eternal damnation. becoming a “better person” is not enough. i know the time is coming, and coming faster than anyone would like. everyone has someone they care about. everyone wants to go to heaven. when   i was an atheist, i believed that the bible was bs, and it didn’t matter. everything seemed normal. life seemed fine. but it wasn’t. it wasn’t until i made too many mistakes that i realized. i need God. God loves you whether you love Him or not, but Him loving you is not enough for you to go to heaven. God is just. God is truth. God is eternal.